Clothing & gifts for infants, toddlers & their parents.
Need
to lose weight? Try this!
Over the years you may have noticed, as I have, that most two-year-olds are trim.
It came to me one day over a cup of black coffee and a carrot that perhaps their
diet is the reason. After consultation with pediatricians, X-ray technicians,
and distraught moms, I was able to formulate this new diet. It is inexpensive,
offering great variety and sufficient quantity. Before embarking on the diet,
however, be sure to check with your doctor ... otherwise you might have to see
him afterward. Good luck!
DAY ONE
Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape jelly. Eat 2 bites
of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest on the floor. Take 1 bite of
toast, then smear the jelly over your face and clothes.
Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips, and a glass of
milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest).
Dinner: Toast piece of bread and toss it on the kitchen floor.
DAY TWO
Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it. Drink half bottle
of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable dye.
Lunch: Half a tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick. One ice cube, if
desired.
Afternoon Snack: Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take outside, drop in
dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until it is clean again. Then bring inside
and drop on rug.
Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust up your left nostril.
Pour juice over mashed potatoes; eat with a spoon.
DAY THREE
Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat with fingers, rub in hair.
Glass of milk: drink half, stuff pancakes in glass. After breakfast, pick
up yesterday's sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, and put it on the cushion
of your best chair.
Lunch: Peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit several bites onto the floor.
Pour glass of milk on table and slurp up.
Dinner: Dish of ice cream and a handful of potato chips.
FINAL DAY
Breakfast: Pour a glass of milk over bowl of corn flakes, add a half-cup of
sugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk and feed cereal to dog.
Lunch: Eat crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room carpet. Find that sucker
and finish eating it.
Dinner: A glass of spaghetti and chocolate milk. Leave meatball on plate.
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