Daddy, Haven’t You Seen That I Don’t Break?

Maybe it does not affect the father so much to hear the continual alarms and monitors, maybe that is, such as supposing that it is impossible to relate with someone that does not smile yet or look directly into the eyes.

The lack of manifestations on part of the baby is what on occasions seems to cause father’s to only be interested in finding out how many grams the baby has gained or lost. However this experience seems in some cases, to often times be used as an excuse to stay in the position of a spectator.

Obviously, this doesn't mean that some fathers don't promote instinctive contact with their premature baby.

However, when the communication between the father and the baby is suspended, (because the father will not take the initiative!), the differences between the real baby and the imaginary baby can grow and continue like this, as if the father was really at the margin of the situation.

It is also true that some fathers tend to distance themselves from the baby to not deprive the mother that is suffering from the affective space she needs when she is with her baby, and who will probably be blamed for not giving them their “space” during the beginning of the relationship.

But independently to what the actual position is, what is definitely certain is that the baby needs of the intervention of the paternal figure.

First of all, if the role of the father is adequate, the emotional communication both physical and sensitive between the mother and the baby will come about with more fluency. And in second place, when the father has more physical contact and less emotional, it helps the baby to have more capability of attention.

Studies in this field have shown that when a baby is close to his or her father a lot, the baby recognizes the father as someone who takes care of him and gives protection in a different way then the mother does, and even more so when the father who by means of his own peculiar form of contact, facilitates a more fluid cognitive growth.

However, in cases where the father feels very close to the newborn but distant from the mother, whatever the reason, this may also rebound indirectly on the baby, since often times the mother can feel like she is alone making her anxious and less sure of assuming her role.