Premature Parents

From the moment of the birth, there have surely been many tests that, as parents you have been forced to confront. Now however, it is your turn to do the arduous work of overcoming many of your emotions to assist the necessities of your baby.

Recent studies have demonstrated that when the contact among the baby, the mother and the father is late, couples can end up being convinced that there is an unsolvable problem in the relationship and have confrontations due to the crisis that both are going through separately and in silence. 

This often happens because when the cycle of maturity has not been completed in the pregnancy, both fathers and mothers are not prepared to entirely take on their new role. On occasions, due to the pain, the uncertainty and the fear for the future of the baby usually becomes worse when in front of the crib and there isn’t any welcome party, nor gifts, nor all the things that imply returning home with a healthy child. 

Nobody doubts that still the experience of being parents continues to be something wonderful, this doesn't take away from the sublime thing of having a baby is dampened by the unpleasant experience that everything you had dreamt about in certain way disappears.

In certain measure, since the trauma of the separation also forces the parents to reconsider their own model that each one has of what a baby should be like. The tensions and conflicts of feeling that the baby does not you adapt to this model and that both could have failed as parents can be generating in the relationship a climate of anguish and guilt.

This is without a doubt the main reason why it is necessary to mourn as soon as possible for that imaginary son that lived with you during the pregnancy, although it might take some time, since this is the only thing that will help you to see and understand your real baby better.

The insecurity and anxiety in front of a newborn one are as natural as life itself. As is the mourning that it is necessary to do after the childbirth, with the exception that when a son is born prematurely this process requires a little more time due to the separation.

Your unity, responsibility and maturity, will be in this sense the only things that will allow you to accept the reality, so set aside a space in the relationship to be able to talk about what is happening to you.

If you take care of that, you will easily understand that is a maternity and a paternity different to what you had originally imagined, not better or worse, and with which you will be able to listen what the other one has to say without blaming or judging. Denying the reality or breaking the roads of communication can make you feel alone and disappointed. On the other hand, if you get together and talk, not only will it be easier to assimilate but you will also be preparing yourself to overcome the inconveniences that might show up in the future.